stage one?

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The most interesting thing about me is him.

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featuring a Ze Weng on the day he left school. 












I wish I took more pictures.

I have a countdown on my phone of how many days there are left till he leaves KTJ for good, leaving me with one more year here. We will never be in the same school again. Doubt I’ll be applying to the university he’ll (insyaAllah) be going to. Who knows, we might work together some day but that’s not so much a part of our plans yet.

I feel a lump in my throat as I type this.

Exams start in less than two weeks and spending time with him in KTJ will be no longer. His graduation is a day before his last paper. His last paper is a day before the end of term.

Okay. Now, tears.

I’m going to miss him. A lot more once he starts prepping to leave the country of course and I guess many would say it’s too soon to start missing him now. You’re right. But we’ve got so little time left in this school.

I’m sad because I guarantee, I’m going to miss being in KTJ with him. It’s not just him. It’s the fact that there’s just so little time to be with him here. We met here. I’m also scared to come back for three more terms with him not present in the school. He’ll be at a brand new place. No memories of me. I’m coming back to somewhere where we’ve been with each other since 2011 till now.

No more of “Going to Pronto [a little convience shop in the campus] in a bit. Tell me which toothpaste you want!” or “I’ll see you tonight by Mr Moorthi’s house?” That one, only KTJ students will understand. Not even “Thank you for the food. I was so hungry. Didn’t think I had anything to eat. You saved my tummy.” That would mean I got him food and asked his friends for a favour to put it in his room. No more surprising him on his birthday here. No more casual waves and hearing or saying “Hello, Sayang” when we pass by each other on the way to classes. No more watching him play for interhouse competitions and seeing him cheer for his house. No early lunch to make him his favourite panini. No more seeing our friends going all “WOOOO” everytime we meet up as if we have just started speaking to each other. No more of a lot of things, which I’m going to miss. And I’m going to miss him.

Just stole a few sheets of Jia Hua’s tissue. Sorry.

Don’t worry guys. I won’t lose my sanity over this. Nothing like “that spoon could have been used by Haiqal OMG I’M CRYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DINING HALL” will happen or if it does, I promise not to blog about it.

I have started to realise that he no longer will be here in the same campus as me after this term and that, to me, is heart breaking. Sure, probably the day right after the term ends, he’ll be out and about with me or me and his sister or my siblings. I don’t miss him in the sense that I know he will be going off to another country or whatever like that yet. This is stage one of missing Haiqal; no more time in KTJ. Oh god, I sound so miserable. Not sure why I’m trying to explain myself so much. You guys understand what I’m trying to say, I’m sure. 

As LDR comes closer. All I can say is, EXPECT MORE OF THIS! Haha. Probably the worst post I’ve ever written. I’m horribly sorry you’re the victim of this mess but hey, no one forced you to read this.

Times like this, I’m glad I have a blog to just blab on about anything and everything. Never cried writing anything before. Always a first. Thanks, Haiqal! -___-


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